Crazy Toby

When we start to pack children off to bed the Junior Assistant starts to get excited.

Once the children are in bed he is fed. He likes to make sure that they are in their baths/showers.He gets anxious when they take too long to get into pyjamas and clean their teeth. He sits by their beds while stories are read and when that is done he explodes happily down the hall towards the kitchen in expectation of dinner, his tail spinning like a big hairy propeller.

Tonight, however, as left one bedroom I had to go in another which meant he sped off and I didn’t follow. As I crossed the hall I heard the skidding of paws suddenly stopping and the scrabbling of paws about-turning and sprinting back to see what the Hell I was up to. He appeared in the bedroom doorway as I was leaving.The brakes were applied once more narrowly avoiding a collision.  He doubled back down the hall. When he arrived in the kitchen I wasn’t behind him. I was in our bedroom switching off our bathroom light; something our children seem incapable of doing. Again Toby and I met in the doorway. He seemed a little put out. He spun around a couple of times and set off at pace for the kitchen.

I crossed the hall into the office to check on some files that were uploading. Junior Assistant appeared in the doorway making all sorts of indignant canine noises while his back legs ran on the spot. I got up and he shot off happily. I went back to one of the childrens’ rooms to deal with some not going to sleep nonsense. Junior Assistant arrived a few seconds later in high dudgeon. I thought he was going to bring me down and drag me to the kitchen. I followed him to the kitchen. He was skipping ahead of me but constantly pirouetted round to make sure that I didn’t disappear again. Like the Red October doing a “Crazy Ivan” in the Hunt for Red October. We both arrived in the Kitchen and he was almost hysterical with happiness and anticipation (“An. Anti. Anticipation!” Now we are in the Battle of the River Plate). He could hardly control himself. He was whimpering and running to and fro.

I wandered over to the couch to find the remote to see if The Battle of the River Plate and the Hunt For Red October were on Netflix. Such good Sunday afternoon films… Toby stood still for a second then snorted. He looked at me, he looked at the empty food bowl and then at the cupboard door that his food hides behind. He was stunned. I put the remote down and headed for the cupboard and opened it. He almost fainted. I  picked up the food bowls, placed them on the counter and poured the dog food into his and the Senior Assistant’s bowls. Mrs L365 called from the office. There was something interesting on Twitter . I went through to see. It was indeed interesting. It reminded me of something I saw earlier. I went to my desk and searched through my Twitter feed. It really was very funny. Where was it?

In the kitchen a four legged figure stood as if frozen. Slowly it’s head moved. Gradually it looked up at the bowls on the counter and then it  turned to the door that I had walked out of. It’s mouth slowly fell open  “He hadn’t… had he?”

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