Age Concern

There comes a time in all our lives when we cannot fool ourselves any more into pretending we are still young.  At some point we have to admit that we have failed in the great battle to retain our youth and vigour and accept the fact that we are middle aged, or to define it from our childrens’ viewpoint, old.

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Look at them! The reason they are leaning on that rail is that it is propping them up! They had to walk up and down some steps from the car and can barely stand and smile at the same time. It must have been at least and hundred metres.

Age doesn’t creep up on you, it surprises you at inconvenient moments, like some sanatogen fuelled ninja. For example when waking in the morning you feel pretty good up to the point of getting out of bed, then Age attacks!  You find all the joints in your body have been struck with a paralysing inertia and stiffness accompanied by nasty cracking sounds. Your athletic leap into the day is turned into a grinding, groaning, delicate operation with the attendant risk of not actually making it to the bathroom.  You would think that wouldn’t be a problem as Age had also snuck upon your bladder during the night and gave it a swift pummelling which had forced you from your warm cosy bed at a downright nasty time of night to the freezing bathroom. This deepest darkest time of the night blunder to the bathroom is risky if you have small children as it is highly likely you will also come across the stray bit of Lego left by your bed. As I am old I already have planters fasciitis but it still isn’t as shockingly painful as lumbering onto a bit of Lego at twelve minutes past three in the morning.

Lego

This is what I image Lego figures do once the lights go off at night. Getting armed and organised for their attack us on our way to the bathroom

Once up and about you find that you don’t get into your stride until a little later than you want to.  There is the depressing realization that there is nothing wrong with your computer and it isn’t the screen that’s having difficulty focusing. It takes a few moments for you to admit that it’s your eyes and where did you leave your glasses. Recently we went to have our eyes checked (you can’t be too careful at our age) and I came out with TWO pairs of new glasses, seeing and reading. That was a kick up the ageing process for me.

Mrs L365

Mrs L365’s glasses in their walking about position. They move down once she sits down. The frustration of the long sighted. This picture was a portrait shot taken by our 4 year old. I think she captured Mrs L365’s warm and loving smile perfectly.

When driving Age likes to make you wince in car parks, you find it isn’t so easy reversing in or out of spaces without complaining about having to twist necks or backs. Either the spaces in car parks have got smaller or we are a lot less supple nowadays. That’ll be why we have a car with parking sensors. It does save our children from believing that every time he turns round and sees them their dad’s grimaces must mean he hates looking at them or they have done something wrong.

There are some advantages to being older: now nobody else cares how you dress and you can wear what you want. However don’t try and wear something young or “hip” as you will look a total and utter arse. It will be like wearing a flashing beacon while carrying a klaxon drawing attention to the fact you are a sad old git in denial. You can listen to whatever music you like and no matter what it is nobody cares. You can even sometimes get away with liking the same music as young folk! You can comment on what other people wear, watch, listen to or say to your heart’s content because nobody cares what you think or say. In fact nobody listens to you. Something maybe middle aged politicians should heed.

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